Dr. Cranquis' Mumbled Gripes

I'm an American physician who works in an Urgent Care clinic. I see lots of stupid or funny things that people do with-and-to their health. I cope by mumbling under my breath (and then posting about it on this pseudonymous blog). Thought you might be interested.

(Disclaimer: Questions related to medical topics will be answered to the best of Dr. Cranquis' (and Google's) knowledge, but the internet-delivered wisdom on this blog CAN NOT AND SHOULD NOT SUBSTITUTE for your Real-Life Doctor's personal attention + examination, and your own common sense too! If you think you're having a medical emergency, hang up and go email 911. The author of this blog takes no responsibility for any medical, relationship, scholastic, financial, or other decisions you may make based on information found in this blog.)

And since people seem to be a bit confused about this: any "real-sounding" patients names are just horrible puns, and not HIPAA violations.

Blogs I Follow

Posts tagged "undergraduate"

Wayfaring MD: So You Got a Bad Grade (A Choose Your Own Adventure Post) →

wayfaringmd:

Well here we are again at the end of the school year, and the TOADS’ inboxes are flooded with “oh crap, I got a C” questions once more.

Since we are all tired of answering these questions, I’ve decided to make the ultimate guide for bad grade advice. So here goes…

Two things:

1) TOADS = Tumblr Organization of Anonymous Doctors (and also medical) Students.

2) This post is just beautiful.

Aspiring Doctors: AspDocs + ERmedicine present: Calm Your Tits, Pre-Meds. Part 1- GRADES/GPA →

aspiringdoctors:

So I’ve noticed on my blog and most of the other medblrs I follow that there have been a metric crapton (units= kg/crapⁿ, n=number of craps) of asks from concerned pre-meds about their grades. It’s the end of the year. You’re getting your grades. Activate freakout mode.

O M G.

What a terrific collaborative project by Aspiring Doc and ERmedicine! First post KNOCKS it out of the park!

TheNotQuiteDoctor Presents: What to expect when you’re expecting (to start med school)

thenotquitedoctor:

Hi! First of all, I really enjoy reading your blog! Second, I’m a senior in undergrad who has been accepted to med school (YAY!!!), but is looking at the next year of my life with a healthy combination of fear and excitement. Not sure if you have done a post like this already, but could you offer some wisdom on surviving and thriving as an M1?

First off, congrats on getting into medical school. That is an amazing accomplishment. My first bit of advice is to really reflect on that and let it sink in. You got in!

Now I have a disclaimer. I am still in my first year of med school (three weeks from being done) so I may not be an authority. But I feel like I have enough experience to offer some advice. So take this for what ever you think it is worth. Here are some tips (in no particular order) for the coming year:

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TheNotQuiteDoctor asked me to “chime in” on this excellent reply. I agree with all of his tips! Here’s my own list of Med School Survival Tips (broken down by year). Good luck to all of you upcoming MS1 students! :)

Brighid45 puts her prior years of experience “creating flowcharts for customized automatic phone system software” to work, and flowcharts the heck out of my Krebs Cycle Cycle. Apparently, there’s lots of “flowchart geek humor” in the symbols she used — so look out, all you flowchart geeks who read my blog! ;)

For your easy-to-read production, I do dub thee with a Cranquis-Nym: Brighid Hood, Cranquistador of Sherwood Forest (stealing flowcharts from the rich and giving them to the poor).

poppyash:

Dr. Cranquis came up with a funny little flow chat called “The Krebs Cycle Cycle” and asked his followers to come up with their own revisions. This is mine, motivated mostly by the fact that I hate it has so many !#@$@% names and I wanted that addressed.

Cranquistador Poppyash’s revision of the Krebs Cycle Cycle is simultaneously elegant and cathartic. Good job! Your therapist will be pleased. :)

It’s been a long time since I’ve handed out a Cranquis-nym, but here goes: Poppyash, for your excellent work, I dub thee Poppyash, Cranquistador Alpha-level, and Official Nomenclature Wrangler to the Stars.

The Not Quite Doctor: Am I wasting my 20s? →

thenotquitedoctor:

We’re there days during pre-med where you just wanted to give up? Sometimes I think “I have no life! I’m spending my entire 20s drowning in books” I love medicine and I really want to be a physician but sometimes when I am getting up at 5:30 to be at a class by 8am I feel overwhelmed…

Click through for the excellent reply to this often-thought (but less-often-voiced) concern of pre-med/med students. My favorite part of TNQD’s reply:

Being called to medicine is a privilege and a sacrifice. I have plenty of friends who travel the world, staying on couches and in hostels, living a fun and exciting life. But I can tell they are searching for something. When I tell them I envy their lives and their freedom they return the compliment, saying they envy my passion and motivation. There are lots of things I gave up for medical school. There is also a lot I have gained by being here.

The grass will always seem greener on the other side. Find a balance. Live a little. But keep your eye on the prize. Hopefully your (our) greenest pastures will lie in the field of medicine.

Keep your eye on the prize, folks. (And go follow The Not Quite Doctor, too!)

thuc:

CaribMD is an objective resource for prospective students interested in attending caribbean medical schools. The website lists accurate, verifiable data for each medical school in one location to aid in researching which school is a good fit. Currently, there are 28 medical schools and 16 premed programs located in the caribbean.

Terrific resource for pre-med students — and yet ANOTHER terrific example of “integrating medical education and the internet” by thuc, doctor and entrepreneur extraordinaire!

aspiringdoctors:

thisfuturemd:

7 Deadly Sins of Medical School Admissions

Dr. Suzanne Miller, M.D. has written a guest post for Future M.D. - The Medblog about the frequent mistakes made by medical school applicants. From MCAT scores to common mistakes in Personal Statements. Learn more from the Harvard M.D. and CEO of MDadmit (Read More…)

Great post!

Valuable tips for those of you pre-meds heading down the med school application trail.

The Not Quite Doctor: The NotQuiteDoctor's Time Management Advice →

thenotquitedoctor:

Can you tell us about your scheduling/time management? Thank you! and Happy New Year!

Sure. I don’t really know how to answer this because I am not time management wizard, but I have found a few things that help.

First off, this program called Self Control is a godsend. It blocks…

Useful tips here.

Age is just a number

wayfaringmd:

Lately several people have asked me about taking a year off before med school, or have told me they’re worried they’re too old/not old enough for medical school.

It seems that everyone is worried about their age. Some folks are scared they’re too old to start med school. They think they’ll have a harder time adjusting to being back in school or that schools won’t accept them because they took time off.

Others are afraid they’re too young, and that they aren’t mature enough for the trials of medical school, or that they won’t be respected by their peers or patients.

Most of these fears are based on lies or half-truths perpetuated by gunners and websites like the always stress inducing Student Doctor Network. In response to these fears, let me reiterate what seems to be the theme of most of the advice I give on this blog:

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Nailed it. Great post!

Aspiring Doctors: Advice to someone who feels they have no dream anymore →

aspiringdoctors:

(In rebloggable format because Doc Cranquis requested it)

what is your advice to someone who feels like they have no dream anymore. personally, i am very lost about everything in my life… I am just so unsure and almost depressed because i feel like i wont amount to much. what is your advice to someone who is pretty young and is having doubts about what they want to study and how they should approach living their life without constantly being in fear?- Anonymous

If you feel or have ever felt this way, you NEED to read the reply to this question. (Thanks for reposting for reblog, AspiringDoctors!)

How to NOT be a gunner

wayfaringmd:

get-going asked: What’s a good way to not be a gunner? I’ve realized looking at your and md admissions descriptions for gunners that I am one, and I don’t wanna be!

My suspicion, get-going, is that you are not a gunner. Why? Because gunners don’t worry about being gunners. They just gun away. Like I said before, all high achieving people are a little type A, but you only become a gunner when you take it to the extreme. Also, why avoid being a gunner? Because they’re obnoxious, they make other people’s lives miserable, and they make school unnecessarily stressful. So here are some tips.

1. Keep your grades to yourself. No one cares about your grades except other gunners, and they don’t need to know.

2. Don’t ask other people their grades. If they want to tell you, they’ll tell you.

3. Don’t even ask “how did you do” or “are you happy with the test?” If the person didn’t do so well, you’re embarrassing them by even asking.

4. Don’t answer a question unless it is asked directly to you.

5. Do not ever ever ever ask a fellow student a question you already know the answer to. Leave the pimping to the professors. The one exception is if the student asks you to quiz them. And even then, don’t be a jerk.

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Yet another fantastic (and gif-tastic) post about the Med School culture, by the incomparable WayfaringMD. (If you’re interested in pre-med/med school, and aren’t following her blog already, you’re doing it wrong.) :)

Hi! question…

green-bandana422 submitted:

How many years were you in college for you to get to where you are now?

4 years of college + 4 years of medical school + 3 years of residency = 11 years (which felt like 100 before I started college, but looking back seems like 3!)

If you’re not already following md-admissions,

wayfaringmd:

you should be, if only for THIS POST on not being a gunner.

I second this emotion. The “Don’t be a Gunner” post is excellence A+. Thanks for writing that, md-admissions! :)

I See How Your World Shakes

themedicalchronicles:

            I was pouring my brains out over my textbook when Mom came in. She sat on my bed to discuss stuff with me again. Life. She wasn’t too happy with me lately, said I was keeping things from her that I shouldn’t be. All because of a stupid class. Organic chemistry. Why I failed, how did I fail, why didn’t I tell her before that I failed, how could I have failed, why didn’t I get a tutor if I knew I was going to fail.

            I wasn’t going to medical school this upcoming year. She was real upset. She said a year is a long time to wait.

            “Tina, do you know how long 12 months is?” she asked.

            “A year.”

“What if I don’t even live to see next year? When will I see you as a doctor?”

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A fictional tale that has surely occurred in real life many many times for many many pre-med students. A bit of a long read, but worth it — for the story, and for the enjoyable writing style, too!