Dr. Cranquis' Mumbled Gripes
(Disclaimer: Questions related to medical topics will be answered to the best of Dr. Cranquis' (and Google's) knowledge, but the internet-delivered wisdom on this blog CAN NOT AND SHOULD NOT SUBSTITUTE for your Real-Life Doctor's personal attention + examination, and your own common sense too! If you think you're having a medical emergency, hang up and go email 911. The author of this blog takes no responsibility for any medical, relationship, scholastic, financial, or other decisions you may make based on information found in this blog.)
And since people seem to be a bit confused about this: any "real-sounding" patients names are just horrible puns, and not HIPAA violations.
Dear Father of the over-weight kid with “achy legs after running for a long time in gym class yesterday”:
I agree, the gym teacher should’ve taught your child to stretch properly before doing vigorous exercise.
I agree, the child should rest from gym class today.
I agree, the child should be allowed to use the elevator in school today because it hurts to walk up the stairs.
But I do NOT agree with your requests for:
- A pass to use the elevator for the rest of the school year
- A note for gym class, stating that your kid “shouldn’t have to exercise as much as the other kids”
- A wheelchair to use at school
- Narcotic pain meds
Seriously. SERIOUSLY?!
Here’s the gist of this neat public-health male-obesity-screening initiative from our medical friends in the UK:
Gentlemen: take off your clothes, stand up straight, and then look down. If your stomach bulge prevents you from seeing your Favorite Bulge, you need to lose weight.
I once replied to a question about “Why do you say not to drink diet soda if you’re trying to lose weight”, with this reply: “It’s not that diet soda is EVIL, it’s just not the BEST.” But after reading this research-summary article on diet soda, I may have to amend that statement. Diet Soda is not the BEST thing for you to drink, and it just might be the WORST, too.
In summary, research is showing diet soda to be heavily linked to:
- Decreased kidney function (from the diet sweeteners themselves, perhaps?!)
- Increased risk for metabolic syndrome (which means increased risk for heart disease)
- Obesity (by disrupting how your body regulates calorie intake)
- Getting drunk faster (when mixed with alcohol, by allowing liquor to enter the bloodstream faster)
- Damaged DNA/mitochondria (from the benzoate preservatives)
- Rotting teeth (just like the regular sody-pops!)
- Exposure to BPA (from the soda cans, which increases risk for many things including reproductive disorders)
I don’t like hypocrites. I mean who does? Which is why I think it is sad that so many med students and physicians sacrifice their own health for their careers. I know many people who complain about their over weight doctors telling them to lose weight. That is something I hope not to do.
I am naturally a thick person…
A new med student sets an important personal goal for med school: “to first get down to a healthy BMI and second to maintain that indefinitely” because “as health care providers I think we should lead by example…”
I hope Not Quite Doctor will keep us updated on this aspect of his schooling — follow him to find out what happens! (And to enjoy more of his excellent medical-related quotes and anecdotes, too…) Bravo to you, NQD!
Zing!
Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet,
Eating high-fat-content dairy products.
Along came a spider and sat down beside her,
And frightened Miss Muffet away.
However, her poor dietary choices had made her large and cumbersome,
So she was too slow to escape getting bit upon one meaty thigh by the spider,
Which turned out, unfortunately, to be a Brown Recluse.
This resulted in a rapidly-enlarging necrotic area at the bite wound, which required repeated surgical debridement and eventual skin grafting.
The New York Times is reporting that the MTA is reassessing the width of its’ seats on public transit to account for our nation’s ever increasing backsides.
It’s interesting how our country is being redesigned for the new normal. Every industry is making their own rules— the airlines make obese people buy two seats for example.
But the one thing that frustrates me about the airlines is the policy charging passengers for luggage based on weight:
Me: 159 pounds + 55 pound suitcase
Guy in front of me: 300 pounds + 45 pound suitcase
I get charged a hefty weight fine because my suitcase is 5 pounds overweight. If airlines are going to charge us for the weight of our luggage, they should assess our total weight, not just the weight of our luggage. It’s only fair.
I see a niche market here: “Dr. Cranquis’ Airplane Crash Diet! Take Off the Pounds Before Takeoff! Lose Big Butts, Save Big Bucks!”
wow, that is some serious dedication!
- 400-Pound Patient in an ER bed: HEY! HEY YOU!
- Greatest ER Nurse in the Universe: Were you calling me, sir?
- Patient: I'VE BEEN CALLING ANYONE WHO WALKS BY! HELP ME GET OUT OF THIS BED!
- GNU: I'll let your nurse know that you need help, sir.
- Patient: F--- THAT, YOU HELP ME! YOU ARE A NURSE, AREN'T YOU?
- GNU: Yes sir, in fact I'm a 110-pound nurse who would be of absolutely no value in helping to support you. Let me call a team to come help.
- Patient: SO YOU'RE NOT GOING TO HELP ME? DIDN'T YOU GO TO NURSING SCHOOL TO HELP PEOPLE?
- GNU: I think you're getting "nursing school" and "magic school" confused, sir. I'd love to help you, but I can't physically help you get up without harming us both.
- Patient: FINE THEN, JUST SEND MY NURSE TO GET ME INSTEAD. I DON'T NEED NO "TEAM".
- GNU: She's still gonna bring the team, sir -- she's on a 40-pound lifting restriction after throwing out her back trying to lift a patient last week.
Fascinating study with big large obese important implications regarding dietary habits, environmental triggers to overeating, and weight loss. Another study mentioned in this article found that people given stale popcorn to eat in a theater would eat less if asked to use their non-dominant hand — implying that even a simple change in the eating habit (using one hand instead of the other) can help people “stop and think” about what they’re consuming.
