I took a male One A Day multivitamin that was in my brother’s room for giggles and he screamed at me saying it was made specifically for men. Are these multivitamins that bad that if I take them I will produce more manly things (sorry for the lack for medical terminology) since I am a female?
OH EM GEE! HOW DARE YOU INSULT ALL MEN EVERYWHERE BY USING A MEN’S MULTIVITAMIN! IS NOTHING SACRED TO YOU FEMALES ANYMORE? YOU GET THE RIGHT TO VOTE, AND THE RIGHT TO DRIVE, AND THE RIGHT TO WEAR JEANS… OUR MEN-ONLY MULTIVITAMINS WERE THE LAST BASTION OF MASCULINITY LEFT TO US!
*falls off chair giggling*
Sorry, that was the first thought that ran through my head, picturing your brother “screaming” at you for taking a MEN’S product. But, let’s approach this logically: go sneak in your brother’s room and get ahold of the vitamin bottle, then come back to the safety of your computer. Ok, you back? Read the ingredients — they’re probably similar to this list:
Calcium Carbonate, Magnesium Oxide, Microcrystalline Cellulose, Ascorbic Acid, Croscarmellose Sodium, Gelatin, Maltodextrin; Less than 2% of: Beta-Carotene, Biotin, Cholecalciferol, Chromium Chloride, Crospovidone, Cupric Oxide, Cyanocobalamin, D-Calcium Pantothenate, dl-Alpha-Tocopheryl Acetate, Folic Acid, Hydroxypropyl Methylcellulose, Lycopene, Manganese Sulfate, Niacinamide, Phytonadione, Polyethylene Glycol, Pyridoxine Hydrochloride, Riboflavin, Silicon Dioxide, Sodium Selenate, Soybean Oil, Starch, Stearic Acid, Thiamine Mononitrate, Triacetin, Vitamin A Acetate, Zinc Oxide.
Do you see “testosterone” in that list? No? That’s not surprising, since testosterone is a male hormone which is carefully regulated… since if a woman were to take testosterone, manly things would start to happen. And logically, with all the money to be made from a gender-change procedure and accompanying hormonal therapies, do you really think the pharmaceutical industry would allow an over-the-counter multivitamin company put ANYTHING in their products which would affect a person’s gender? :)
Naw, the reason you see “women’s” or “men’s” or “prenatal” multivitamins is because they contain slightly different ingredients (or sometimes, just different concentrations of the same ingredients) to better support that particular target audience’s metabolic processes and physiological needs. So have no fear: your ovaries are gonna be staying inside your body for the foreseeable future.
Now, go put that bottle back in your brother’s room. And if you ever catch him taking your prescription birth-control pills, DO yell at him: those things have female hormones, and could really jack (jill?) him up if he kept at it!
***Pending Cranquis-Mails: ZERO; Inbox: Still closed; Cranquis has been out of town this weekend, so he might re-open the inbox Sunday evening November 6, otherwise sometime on Monday November 7. Further announcements to come.***