Greetings, young Cranquis,
Ok, first things first: HAN SHOT FIRST. Go trademark that phrase RIGHT NOW, because within the next few years, it’s going to be a pretty big deal. T-shirts, bumper stickers, college-dorm posters, the works.
Next: what is this message you’re reading in your Hotmail inbox? It is an email… from The Future
No, seriously. I’m writing this in the year 2015. I understand you’ve barely been using email for 3 years or so, so I’ll try to keep the explanation of this “email time travel” simple:
Here in The Future, I am a doctor, and in The Future, American doctors are required to use incredibly complicated and incredibly stupid computer programs called “Electronic Medical Records”. These EMR programs are:
- designed by computer technicians and retired “consulting physicians” with little knowledge of how clinical medicine works in the trenches
- aimed at appeasing bureaucrats and increasing billing-income for insurance companies (while saving payroll $$ for the healthcare companies) by forcing the physicians to work as data-entry clerks, medical coding-billing specialists, and transcriptionists
- barely able to produce an appreciable positive effect on a patient’s health outcomes
- unable to produce visit-notes which can be decoded for any useful meaning by future physicians involved in a patient’s care
- specifically engineered to shorten the life-spans of the physicians by stressing them to death.
In essence, a technological system designed to push healthcare forward has instead shoved it rudely backwards
(But I digress.)
My point is, in the past few years, I’ve noted that my job’s EMR system always moved slower whenever I was in a hurry, and after a bit of poking around, I discovered the reason: not only was EMR a philosophical step backwards in the doctor-patient relationship — the EMR’s innate desire to give me a stroke intentionally caused my computer’s CPU to run backwards in time at a speed inversely proportional to the number of patients waiting to be seen!
So, I waited until the day after “Obamacare” finally kicked in after staggering through multiple fights in the justice system (oh you poor sod, you have no idea about THAT upcoming mess, do you?) — anyways, I waited until the waiting rooms and the exam rooms and the operating rooms and the BATH rooms swelled with newly “insured” patients clamoring to see a doctor. I waited until this day, the one most certain day when my EMR would be guaranteed to pitch a fit — and then wrote an email… to The Past.
And who better to receive that email than… us.
Us? Yes, US. Because, believe it or not, young Cranquis, I am You… from The Future.
So now that I’ve established my trustworthiness, here’s some advice from yourself, looking back over 15-20 years of life and living: