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Dr. Cranquis' Mumbled Gripes

I'm an American physician who works in an Urgent Care clinic. I see lots of stupid or funny things that people do with-and-to their health. I cope by mumbling under my breath (and then posting about it on this pseudonymous blog). Thought you might be interested.

(Disclaimer: Questions related to medical topics will be answered to the best of Dr. Cranquis' (and Google's) knowledge, but the internet-delivered wisdom on this blog CAN NOT AND SHOULD NOT SUBSTITUTE for your Real-Life Doctor's personal attention + examination, and your own common sense too! If you think you're having a medical emergency, hang up and go email 911. The author of this blog takes no responsibility for any medical, relationship, scholastic, financial, or other decisions you may make based on information found in this blog.)

And since people seem to be a bit confused about this: any "real-sounding" patients names are just horrible puns, and not HIPAA violations.

Blogs I Follow
TSK: A bit much?

Dear Father of the over-weight kid with “achy legs after running for a long time in gym class yesterday”:

I agree, the gym teacher should’ve taught your child to stretch properly before doing vigorous exercise.

I agree, the child should rest from gym class today.

I agree, the child should be allowed to use the elevator in school today because it hurts to walk up the stairs.

But I do NOT agree with your requests for:

  • A pass to use the elevator for the rest of the school year
  • A note for gym class, stating that your kid “shouldn’t have to exercise as much as the other kids”
  • A wheelchair to use at school
  • Narcotic pain meds

Seriously. SERIOUSLY?!

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  1. lostongalifrey reblogged this from cranquis
  2. errunninggirl reblogged this from cranquis
  3. confessions-of-a-redhead reblogged this from cranquis and added:
    *sighs* Why do people encourage such laziness?
  4. semper-porro reblogged this from cranquis
  5. kaisimplerandomness reblogged this from cranquis
  6. hugewiener reblogged this from cranquis
  7. professionalbotherer said: What the kid REALLY needs is to run like that more frequently and just get used to it.
  8. fairweatherlover reblogged this from cranquis
  9. followthink said: i come to tumblr only to check what you say ! some patients are having common-sense deprivation disorder :) Love Cranquis
  10. needlepusher reblogged this from cranquis and added:
    WTF is our society coming too
  11. indysanchez reblogged this from cranquis and added:
    Seriously???? What is wrong with people…
  12. unrealisticfemalecantaloupe reblogged this from multi-faceted-potato
  13. multi-faceted-potato reblogged this from cranquis
  14. lfrisbee said: hmm? We now “suggest” that members stretch after exercise. not before. A planned warm-up is more beneficial. I’ve had patients beg out of doing a work-out because of DOMS. The best thing for it is…another work-out.
  15. chemistryaddict reblogged this from cranquis
  16. emmy-raen said: ‘Murica.
  17. dearestren reblogged this from cranquis
  18. step2dbeet reblogged this from cranquis
  19. sasuhiroki reblogged this from cranquis
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