Dr. Cranquis' Mumbled Gripes

I'm an American physician who works in an Urgent Care clinic. I see lots of stupid or funny things that people do with-and-to their health. I cope by mumbling under my breath (and then posting about it on this pseudonymous blog). Thought you might be interested.

(Disclaimer: Questions related to medical topics will be answered to the best of Dr. Cranquis' (and Google's) knowledge, but the internet-delivered wisdom on this blog CAN NOT AND SHOULD NOT SUBSTITUTE for your Real-Life Doctor's personal attention + examination, and your own common sense too! If you think you're having a medical emergency, hang up and go email 911. The author of this blog takes no responsibility for any medical, relationship, scholastic, financial, or other decisions you may make based on information found in this blog.)

And since people seem to be a bit confused about this: any "real-sounding" patients names are just horrible puns, and not HIPAA violations.

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Behind the Medic: “Shut up and tell Dr. Cranquis to prescribe me some pain pills!”

Ma’am, I cannot emphasize this enough: regardless of how much you yell at my nurse, the infection on your hand will not get better if you still haven’t taken the antibiotics I prescribed you… 2 weeks ago.

(I know this because I called the pharmacy, and they told me you didn’t pick up the antibiotics, only the pain medicine.)

(Congratulations: you’re now on my official Unofficial List of people who get no pain medicine prescriptions from me. Ever.)