Dr. Cranquis' Mumbled Gripes

I'm an American physician who works in an Urgent Care clinic. I see lots of stupid or funny things that people do with-and-to their health. I cope by mumbling under my breath (and then posting about it on this pseudonymous blog). Thought you might be interested.

(Disclaimer: Questions related to medical topics will be answered to the best of Dr. Cranquis' (and Google's) knowledge, but the internet-delivered wisdom on this blog CAN NOT AND SHOULD NOT SUBSTITUTE for your Real-Life Doctor's personal attention + examination, and your own common sense too! If you think you're having a medical emergency, hang up and go email 911. The author of this blog takes no responsibility for any medical, relationship, scholastic, financial, or other decisions you may make based on information found in this blog.)

And since people seem to be a bit confused about this: any "real-sounding" patients names are just horrible puns, and not HIPAA violations.

Blogs I Follow

Behind the Medic: Not helping

My Physician Assistant: The woman with chest pain is still refusing to go to the ER, because she doesn't want to pay her baby-sitter overtime. Any idea what else I can tell her that might help convince her?
Cranquis: Ask her if her baby-sitter has a yearly rate.
PA: Huh?
Cranquis: I'm just wondering how much it would cost for someone to take care of her kids until they turn 18, since she could ~DIE~ from ignoring this chest pain.
PA: Oh. Uh, you're not serious about saying that to her, right?
Cranquis: Sorry, just having a House moment. Now, hand me my cane and let's go put it in nicer terms.