Dr. Cranquis, there’s a woman on the phone and she wants to let us know that she is having a terrible headache and her doctor told her by phone to go to the ER yesterday, but she wants to come to the Urgent Care instead because we’re closer and she doesn’t want to drive that far, because of her headache you see, but she is pretty sure that she’ll end up needing to go to the ER ANYWAYS because of how bad her headache is, so she wants us to call for an ambulance to come and wait in the parking lot while you check her out to see if she needs to go to the ER or not. She’ll be here in 20 or 30 minutes.
My nurse, who sometimes talks in long headache-inducing sentences when patients are behaving badly.
(Can you imagine the phone call if I had actually called the ambulance ahead of time? “Yes, er, hi. Dr. Cranquis here. So… would you mind hanging out in our parking lot for 30 minutes or so? Oh, no reason…”)