Dr. Cranquis' Mumbled Gripes
I'm an American physician who works in an Urgent Care clinic. I see lots of stupid or funny things that people do with-and-to their health. I cope by mumbling under my breath (and then posting about it on this pseudonymous blog). Thought you might be interested.
(Disclaimer: Questions related to medical topics will be answered to the best of Dr. Cranquis' (and Google's) knowledge, but the internet-delivered wisdom on this blog CAN NOT AND SHOULD NOT SUBSTITUTE for your Real-Life Doctor's personal attention + examination, and your own common sense too! If you think you're having a medical emergency, hang up and go email 911. The author of this blog takes no responsibility for any medical, relationship, scholastic, financial, or other decisions you may make based on information found in this blog.)
And since people seem to be a bit confused about this: any "real-sounding" patients names are just horrible puns, and not HIPAA violations.
(Disclaimer: Questions related to medical topics will be answered to the best of Dr. Cranquis' (and Google's) knowledge, but the internet-delivered wisdom on this blog CAN NOT AND SHOULD NOT SUBSTITUTE for your Real-Life Doctor's personal attention + examination, and your own common sense too! If you think you're having a medical emergency, hang up and go email 911. The author of this blog takes no responsibility for any medical, relationship, scholastic, financial, or other decisions you may make based on information found in this blog.)
And since people seem to be a bit confused about this: any "real-sounding" patients names are just horrible puns, and not HIPAA violations.
Blogs I Follow
“Never trust a doctor who ___.”
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personaltrainingalbertpark likes this
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personaltrainingalbertpark reblogged this from cranquis
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a-drop-of-juice answered:
seems distracted
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camarguais answered:
Never trust a Doctor Who.
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cmarrujo answered:
disrespects his nurses
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kryssol likes this
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slimshadymiked reblogged this from cranquis
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w-umpscut answered:
refuses to admit he or she is wrong once shown wrong. I’d trust a doctor who made a mistake, but not a liar
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ajduchesne answered:
flies in a Tardis.
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omareko answered:
Never trust a doctor who says evry thing will be ok
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want2bemd answered:
said Med School was easy.
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zentempus answered:
time travels
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taletreader likes this
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suechu answered:
is named cranquis, haha. :) JK.
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v-agabond likes this
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nasir-sumerville answered:
is in a room alone
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toforeverquestion answered:
won’t shake your hand.
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yourenothingspecial answered:
has neat handwriting.
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infinite-enlightenment answered:
doesn’t take care of themselves
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fl0c0n answered:
Don’t want to answer your questions!
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aknightlight answered:
asks if you’re making it up.
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libby-15hare answered:
,period. Because Rule number one: The Doctor lies.
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doctom666 likes this
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doctom666 answered:
has a rectal thermometer in his/her coat pocket!!
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mumofalltrades said:
…asks you to take off your pants when you complain of scalp itch.
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hoonshiro answered:
is GAY AND BLACK
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markfukenni answered:
Never trust a doctor who tells you he’s not a doctor.
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dispatchdaddy answered:
fan.
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lisaeleanor answered:
“…has an eye-patch”.
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katmack likes this
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o-teri-tay answered:
diagnoses every disease as Lupus… yeah?
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yourcraysisterinchrist said:
That prescribes teething beads for a child with an ear infection…
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justainm answered:
tries to give you fitness advice! That’s a personal trainers job!
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ruthie-meg reblogged this from cranquis and added:
Always seems like he’s going for the world record for most patients seen in a day.
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spearfame answered:
writes everything off as a virus.
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chamberschiro answered:
keeps winking
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toleadistoserve answered:
“has the last name Acula!” #mitchhedberg
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perfectpersoninprogress answered:
smells like cigarettes.
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chronic-illness-support reblogged this from cranquis and added:
“Has to google your illness” would be my answer, too. Some are kind of silly to me.
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chronicallykatie answered:
has to Google your illnesses.
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charcoalcloud answered:
talks to their patient more than they listen.
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diamidinophenylindolee answered:
can’t answer you the drastic substance of the drug he is administrating you with and knows just the company name.
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confessions-of-a-redhead reblogged this from cranquis and added:
(My answer was “diagnoses you without doing even...single test.”)
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confessions-of-a-redhead likes this
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crazyridecalledlife said:
Talks down to you & downplays your sx that are d/t a genetic syndrome.
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introvertedloudmouth answered:
smokes
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atinypanda answered:
hold the otoscope like a tennis racket
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confessions-of-a-redhead answered:
diagnoses you without doing even a single test.
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