Regarding patient Percy Verant, who has been away from work due to injury and your incompetent human resources regulations from 9/1/12 through 9/10/12.
Patient is cleared to return to work with the following restrictions: NONE. Nada. Zip. Zilch. Zero. (In other words, the same amount of restrictions that I listed on the 3-page FMLA paperwork which I filled out for him 4 days ago. I figured that checking the box which said “NO RESTRICTIONS” would have made this easy for your HR department to understand. I apologize for grossly over-estimating HR’s ability to read English.)
Remarks: I am appalled and dismayed at Walmart’s tenacity in preventing their employees from returning to work. I recommend sending your entire HR department to the nearest Urgent Care (3 times) to get clearance to return to work from the traumatic brain injuries that they have all apparently suffered.