Dr. Cranquis' Mumbled Gripes

I'm an American physician who works in an Urgent Care clinic. I see lots of stupid or funny things that people do with-and-to their health. I cope by mumbling under my breath (and then posting about it on this pseudonymous blog). Thought you might be interested.

(Disclaimer: Questions related to medical topics will be answered to the best of Dr. Cranquis' (and Google's) knowledge, but the internet-delivered wisdom on this blog CAN NOT AND SHOULD NOT SUBSTITUTE for your Real-Life Doctor's personal attention + examination, and your own common sense too! If you think you're having a medical emergency, hang up and go email 911. The author of this blog takes no responsibility for any medical, relationship, scholastic, financial, or other decisions you may make based on information found in this blog.)

Blogs I Follow

TSK: Passive-Aggressiveness can go both ways

Dear Mr. Obviously Annoyed Guy,

I am sorry you had to wait an hour to see me today in Urgent Care. I’m sure your symptoms of “cough, sinus headache, and sore throat” contributed to your irritated attitude — although, since you had an appointment to see your primary physician yesterday, and you “no-showed” it, I don’t know if you really have a “right” to complain about waiting now.

Just a quick tip: you may think that it will “save time” if you greet me with, “Let’s just cut to the chase, doc, you write me a prescription for antibiotic, and I’ll get out of here” — but it doesn’t. Because now I have to spend an extra 30+ seconds explaining to you that I am legally required to ask you about your symptoms and do a bit of physical exam before I can prescribe medication to someone I’ve never seen before in my life.

And if your true goal was to “save time”, then you should’ve just accepted that explanation, instead of trying to argue that “My father was a doctor for 35 years, so I know how this s—t works.” In fact, the very fact that your father WAS a doctor, and yet you somehow don’t realize that doctors are more than just prescription-writing machines, makes me even more dubious about your claims.

If I had to take a guess, I’d assume your behavior was actually intentionally abrasive, in order to keep me from confronting you about your obviously-heavy continued use of nicotine despite having COPD. But you didn’t have to worry, sir! How could I possibly take the time to counsel you about smoking cessation, when I’m sneezing repeatedly from hot-boxing the smell of cigarette smoke off of your clothes and beard?

Anyways, have a lovely day. :)

Cranquis