Dr. Cranquis' Mumbled Gripes

Little Jack Horner sat in a corner,

purposefully isolating himself due to a complex set of mental conditions including childhood schizophrenia and an autism spectrum disorder,

and eating a Christmas pie.

He stuck in his thumb and pulled out a plum,

thus contaminating said pie with a gastrointestinal virus which ruined Christmas for the rest of the family later, 

and said, “What a good boy am I!”