Dr. Cranquis' Mumbled Gripes

I'm an American physician who works in an Urgent Care clinic. I see lots of stupid or funny things that people do with-and-to their health. I cope by mumbling under my breath (and then posting about it on this pseudonymous blog). Thought you might be interested.

(Disclaimer: Questions related to medical topics will be answered to the best of Dr. Cranquis' (and Google's) knowledge, but the internet-delivered wisdom on this blog CAN NOT AND SHOULD NOT SUBSTITUTE for your Real-Life Doctor's personal attention + examination, and your own common sense too! If you think you're having a medical emergency, hang up and go email 911. The author of this blog takes no responsibility for any medical, relationship, scholastic, financial, or other decisions you may make based on information found in this blog.)

Blogs I Follow

TSK: Feel my pain... FEEL IT!!

Cranquis' P.A.: Can you describe the pain in your leg, sir?
30-something muscle-bound facial-tattooed leather-pants-wearing male patient: YEAH IT'S LIKE, IF YOU TAKE YOUR KNUCKLES AND JUST START DRAGGING THEM UP AND DOWN YOUR THIGH, OVER AND OVER, YOU KNOW?
PA: Ok, so the muscles feel tight or cramped?
Patient *starts grinding knuckles into his own legs*: NO IT'S LIKE THIS! IT FEELS LIKE THAT! YOU DO IT, YOU'LL SEE WHAT I MEAN!
PA: Ok, I think I understand.
Patient *still grinding*: NO, DO IT TO YOURSELF SO YOU CAN FEEL WHAT I'M FEELING!
PA: I'm not going to do that, sir.