Dr. Cranquis' Mumbled Gripes
(Disclaimer: Questions related to medical topics will be answered to the best of Dr. Cranquis' (and Google's) knowledge, but the internet-delivered wisdom on this blog CAN NOT AND SHOULD NOT SUBSTITUTE for your Real-Life Doctor's personal attention + examination, and your own common sense too! If you think you're having a medical emergency, hang up and go email 911. The author of this blog takes no responsibility for any medical, relationship, scholastic, financial, or other decisions you may make based on information found in this blog.)
There are 2 ways to contact Dr. Cranquis, depending on what type of message you wish to send:
1. REQUESTS FOR ADVICE (Cranquis-Mails) — Requests for advice of any kind must go through my TumblrMSG inbox. This box only opens for a very short time (we’re talking 30 minutes or so, usually), and otherwise remains on Condition Zebra. “Upcoming Open Inbox” announcements are usually posted at the bottom of Cranquis-Mail replies. Anonymous questions are accepted through this box. Please restrict yourself to only one question per submission, or face my passive-aggressive snarkiness.
- Disclaimer: Cranquis-Mail questions related to medical topics will be answered to the best of Dr. Cranquis’ (and Google’s) knowledge, but the internet-delivered wisdom on this blog CAN NOT AND SHOULD NOT SUBSTITUTE for your Real-Life Doctor’s personal attention + examination, and your own common sense too! If you think you’re having a medical emergency, hang up and go email 911. The author of this blog takes no responsibility for any medical, relationship, scholastic, financial, or other decisions you may make based on information found in this blog.
- I reply to EVERY question submitted — if I don’t have a good answer for you, I will still reply and admit that. HOWEVER, I will not reply to medical-advice questions if you ask for a PRIVATE REPLY. All medical-advice questions are replied to publicly, for the education of my readers and to avoid the appearance of a private doctor-patient relationship. I may reply privately to non-medical-advice questions on a case-by-case basis.
- Please be patient after submitting your Cranquis-Mail question — I work full time and have a wonderful family too, but I’ll reply to you when I can.
- If you submitted a Cranquis-Mail question, and I don’t reply to it by the next time I re-open the Inbox, then it must’ve gotten lost in the internets or been eaten by the Tumbeast. Send me a message in my Submit box or through FanMail (see below) and we’ll figure it out.
- “Aren’t you worried about getting sued for giving medical advice online? And what about HIPAA (US health-info privacy laws)?”
- “Why the weird nicknames for Anonymous questioners?” — I assign custom-created Cranquis-Nyms as a way of keeping track of people who write back later with updates (and as an outlet for my horrible sense of punnery!)
- “Why are you using TumblrMSG for this inbox? And how do I install this app so I can send you a Cranquis-Mail?” Click here!
2. COMMENTS, CHIT-CHAT, LINKS, FAN-ART — My Tumblr Submit box (and as of January 2012, my Tumblr “FanMail” box) is used for any communication that is NOT a request for advice. This box stays open all the time, in an attempt to allow for better communication with my fascinating group of Constant Readers.
- Anonymous questions are NOT allowed here.
- Any submissions to this box which are requests for advice (or which I think would be more suitable for a Cranquis-Mail reply, which is usually longer and takes more time for me to write) will be returned to sender, with a polite request that you submit it to the TumblrMSG inbox when it opens. (See above)
- The submission box may rarely close, if I am on extended vacation or something.
***Regardless of which method you choose to contact Dr. Cranquis: by submitting a message, you give permission for your message and my reply to be posted publicly on this blog, unless you specifically request otherwise.***
