March 2012
99 posts
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Medical Gang Sign: Well, that answers that. XD
bunichow replied to your post: New “Medical Gang Sign” needed?
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Re: BMJ article, med students and prostitution
amisanthropichumanist submitted (and later gave me permission to publish):
Hi Dr Cranquis!
Thanks for posting that article. To be honest, the cynical part of me isn’t totally surprised.
No idea what it’s like in the states, but the sheer cost of medical school across the pond in the UK is horrendous. I’ll start at the beginning.
As someone going into Graduate Medicine (just...
February 2012
106 posts
6 tags
New "Medical Gang Sign" needed?
meganfloyd replied to your quote: ATTENTION PARENT: As your child’s physician today,…
As a parent of children who DO freak out, about ANYTHING at the doctor’s office, I wish you really COULD use that piece of paper… I mean, could that be an option for those of us who aren’t including our young children in treatment discussion?!?
On my part, I usually just spell out the word...
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“ATTENTION PARENT: As your child’s physician today, I feel the situation...”
– An imaginary piece of paper that I wish existed, to be used when parents force me to describe an upcoming clinic procedure in gory detail in front of their increasingly-terrified child.
(I just spent 10 minutes hearing a child scream in terror, purely from anticipating the shot which she needs for...
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BMJ article: Increasing numbers of "cash-strapped"... →
I’m really not sure about the reliability of the survey method… but at least those students are getting some early experience at getting screwed over by the sad financial state of healthcare reimbursement. :(
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Reblog: The Magnificent Blog of Dr. "John Doe"... →
jamoker:
Presenting the Mumbling, Passionate American Physician and his often Mispronounced Pseudonym.
I first stumbled upon the blog of this anonymous doctor a while ago as I was on Tumblr looking for something to kill time on my Saturday night. At first I was mildly intrigued to see the goings on of Urgent Care in the U.S but this man showed more; he showed the humour, humility and the...
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TSK: Dr. Cranquis loves it when his patient makes...
15-year-old female with rash: So my rash isn't ringworm?
Cranquis: No, you have pityriasis rosea, and it's not contagious.
Patient: Yes! I can touch myself again!
Cranquis: *struggling not to grin/chuckle/snort/react in any way to that comment*
Patient: Oh, wait, I mean, er... *blushing*
Mother *grinning*: What do you mean "again"?
Cranquis: *unprofessional guffaw -- oops!*
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aimingforthetemporallobe replied to your post: madladyrandom replied to your chat: TSK: It was…
To be fair to the psychiatrist, it’s not really outside the field of psychiatry, being a side effect of lamotrigine and all. But still, sounds like (s)he could have “broken the news” a little better!
Exactly. Stevens-Johnson is a bad player, so I’m glad the psych was thinking of all the...
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madladyrandom replied to your chat: TSK: It was acne pimples, FYI.
Q: What time is it when your psychiatrist tries to diagnose something far outside the field of psychiatric medicine, sending you into a panic attack? A: Time to find a new psychiatrist. Sheesh.
I KNOW RIGHT? And she never even came back for me to reassure her! :(
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TSK: It was acne pimples, FYI.
Cranquis *entering exam room, finds patient just leaving exam room*: Oh, uh -- Hi, I'm the doctor.
30-something female with history of anxiety/irritable bowel syndrome/chronic headaches: hi doctor i'll be right back i just need to go outside and breathe some fresh air cuz i'm having a panic attack about this rash on my face because my psychiatrist told me it might be steven-johansen syndrome and i looked that up on my phone while i was sitting here and it sounds terrible and it made me anxious so i'll be back in a few minutes ok?
Cranquis *sees rash while patient is blathering, makes diagnosis that is NOT Stevens-Johnson syndrome, comes up with treatment plan, but doesn't have a problem with letting her calm HERSELF down*: Ok! See you in a little while!
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Redheads Require More Anesthesia →
wifeofadocstar:
Who knew? Thanks to my brother for sharing this
The bottom line is that redheads have specific mutations on the MCR1 gene that not only increase expression of red pigment but may also be involved with the function of the central nervous system.
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Anybody know some good nursing or OB blogs?
amanda-pearl submitted:
I’m hoping to become a nurse midwife, and I was wondering if you knew of any nursing blogs, or even OB blogs that I might like.
Thanks!
The only nursing blog I follow is nursling, but she hasn’t posted in about a month. And as far as I know, none of the doctor blogs I follow are written by OB’s. So let’s see what my Cranquistadors can recommend...
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An entry for the "What does Cranquis look like?"...
thisiskaras replied to your photo: The “What do YOU think Cranquis looks like in real…
I gave up facebook for Lent but I put a picture here instead :P
D’awww! Ok, I’m sure one of my Minions can copy-paste it into the Facebook Fan Page photo contest on your behalf. :)
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20 Old School Surgical Tools that will give you... →
My favorite is the one that explains where the phrase “to blow smoke up one’s ass” comes from. But they’re all grotesquely delightful. Thanks for Facebook Fan/Cranquistador Sandra for the link!
Mrs. Cranquis’ astute comment: “I wonder which modern medical tools will end up on a similar list 200 years from now?” I’d guess the “glove-encased...
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wayfaringmd replied to your post: TSK: Teens with STDs + Parents without a clue = lots of gifs!
Ok, Cranquis, GIFs are my thing…commencing turf war.
Ok, I wish I could’ve found a GIF of this Team Fortress 2 Medic quote, but I’ll have to settle for this video as my rejoinder.
(And hey, you just used a [rather slick and amusing] pseudonym for an anonymous questioner — Type A-non...
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TSK: Teens with STDs + Parents without a clue =...
So, Tiffany. You’re 16, female, and come to my Urgent Care for “burning when you pee” — but your urine test is completely clean.
Hmm. And I notice that you made your mom stay in the waiting-room, instead of coming in to the exam room with you.
Spider-sense TINGLING. So, let me ask you this: Are you sexually active? Wait. What do you mean, “Maybe”??
...
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Cracked.com Article: "5 life lessons you only... →
John Cheese (Cracked.com’s resident hard-luck-success-story writer) writes an excellent article about his current/past smoking-cessation attempts, what he’s learned about life from them, and some valuable tips on succeeding at quitting smoking too. In summary:
You can’t expect people to know what you’re going through. Solution: Lower your expectations for how...
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surfnrunnr asked: Hi! can you point me to some...
wayfaringmd:
Sure, here’s some I follow:
medicalstate - why aren’t you already following him? I’m on his inspiration list, and he’s on mine ;)
md-admissions - funny conversations from med students
futureerdoc - US - fellow fourth year
medicineinstills - a med student’s experience told through photography
3x5byangie - a med student’s project 365
wordsthatididntsay - my fave pre-medder. I...
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orangushamstursaurus replied to your chat: TSK: Siblings are so thoughtful.
Haha! This girl is just like me when I was younger. My lil sis was getting an injection and I screamed “THEY ARE INJECTING YOU WITH POISON WHICH WILL BURN YOUR EYE BALLS OUT!!!!” I wasn’t allowed to go with her to appointments after that :(
It is fun being an older sibling, isn’t it? :)
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TSK: Siblings are so thoughtful.
Cranquis: Mom, I'm going to do the influenza swab on little Perry now.
Mom: Ok, sounds good.
5-year-old Perry *pointing at the nasopharyngeal-swab packet*: What is that thing?
Cranquis *starting his usual patter to keep the kid calm until it's too late for the kid to resist*: It's a big Q-tip, and I'm going to steal some of your boogers with it!
Perry *giggling*: Ok!
11-year-old big sister Lucretia: OH NO I HAD THAT DONE ONCE, AND IT MADE MY NOSE BLEED!
Perry: *begins screaming and hides behind the exam table*
Cranquis: Gee, thanks a lot, Lucretia. You should consider going into pediatrics.
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“I don’t want to be a big girl! I DON’T WANT TO BE A BIG GIRL!”
– Frantic 3-year-old girl, in reply to her mother’s pleas to “be a big girl and let the nice nurse check your temperature.”
I feel ya, kid. Sometimes I wake up screaming “I don’t WANT to be a big boy!”… like on Tax Day.
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Poll Results: No steenking badges
thinitis answered your question: Poll: Do we need those steenking badges?
No, I like to be treated as a “regular” person and see what advice is given. Then I might casually drop into the conversation I’m a medic…
baffledinbrooklyn replied to your post: Poll: Do we need those steenking badges?
If its at the hospital I work at, yes. If we go to some other facility, no.
My typical choice is a...
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Rare Disease Day: Feb 29 2012
soupladle submitted:
Hi Cranquis! It’s pretty close, but I was hoping you could talk about Rare Disease Day, it’s the 29th this year. I know you typically don’t do chronic patients, but it’s important to have doctors talk about it too. I am pretty severely disabled from Intracranial Hypertension. I’m 20. I hope to urge people to sign up for patient registries, be a...
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Poll: Do we need those steenking badges?
Question for any Cranquistadors who work in a healthcare profession:
If you are going into a healthcare encounter as a patient or accompanying someone to their encounter (ER visit, doctor’s office, hospital stay, etc), do you wear your work badge prominently?
Just curious. Explanations of your answer would be appreciated. And I’ll tell you what *I* tend to do, when I post the...
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TSK: The Power of Negative Thinking
Cranquis: Well that strip of painful redness and blisters on your chest and back is shingles, ma'am.
60-something female patient: IT IS? HALLELUJAH!
Cranquis: Uh, ok -- I have to know, what did you ~think~ it was, that you feel shingles is a better option?
Patient: I thought it was breast cancer!
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Transcriptionist FAIL 8: I guess the infection is...
What I said: “Assessment: Symptoms consistent with a viral infection.”
What the transcription says: “Assessment: Symptoms consistent with a rival infection.”
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Facebook Page Weekly-Theme Winner: "Shadowing your...
withwhatwehave submitted:
Hey Dr. Cranquis,
I’m a pre-med student really interested in pediatric medicine, especially pediatric gastroenterology. I know I won’t need to choose a specialty until after medical school, but I’ve grown up with Crohn’s Disease so am fairly certain peds gastro is the path I want to pursue. I’ve been accepted as a summer intern in a...
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A little shingles humor
madladyrandom submitted:
Today I was pondering the wide variety of unpleasant sensations I’m experiencing in my right arm due to shingles. Not too surprising, since the reactivated varicella-zoster virus is actually messing around in my neurons. Then it struck me—having shingles really gets on my nerves! Ha!
For some reason, thinking up a terrible medical pun reminded me of...
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“Can you please tell all your fellow students something for me? Tell them to look...”
– My grandmother.
Sounds like common sense, but a lot of people fail on this. Your patients can’t follow your advice if they never heard it to begin with.
(via wayfaringmd)
Related to this, a neat trick I learned somewhere: if your patient is hard of hearing, but doesn’t have hearing aids...
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TSK: Dead eyes with a blank stare, and me with my...
Cranquis: So the nurse said you are feeling really angry at your parents?
30-something female Army veteran with multiple psych issues: YES THEY MAKE ME SO MAD THAT MY HEAD WANTS TO IMPLODE. I COULD SHOOT MY DAD IN THE BRAINPAN AND I WOULDN'T EVEN CARE.
Cranquis: Do you have any firearms available to you?
Patient: NO BUT I'M ARMY TRAINED, I COULD KILL MY MOM WITH A PENCIL THROUGH THE EYE SOCKET. I'M A DANGEROUS BITCH.
Cranquis: I think maybe you need to return to the psych hospital that you were in a couple weeks ago, don't you?
Patient: OH YEAH, I NEED A VACATION FROM THIS CRAP. PLEASE CALL THE COPS TO COME GET ME.
Cranquis: I'm on it!
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blargh
The Horrible: Worst. Shift. Ever. (Number of patients, critical nature of multiple situations, still seeing patients 2 hours after the front desk closed, mountain of charts to dictate). More details later.
The Tolerable: The Girl Scout cookies I ordered from the secretary a month ago just arrived. YUM, LEMONADES(tm)…!
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18 Patient Identifiers HIPAA Defines as Off Limits... →
ermedicine:
dorasnursing:
The Nerdy Nurse blogging about HIPAA.
Things to avoid if you blog about medicine.
Can I Blog About My Patients?
“You can absolutely blog about specific patient encounters, but you have a duty to be respectful of the patients privacy. They allowed you to participate in their care and they deserve the utmost respect from that. However, if telling a story can...
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“Could we speed this up? I have a soda in the car and it’s getting warm!”
– 5-year-old boy, impatient because I was taking “too long” to talk with his mom about his cough.
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You win some, you hate some.
Today was a day for unusual events of varying enjoyability.
First, Mrs. Cranquis and I celebrated Valentine’s Day (a few days late — long story) by going on a date… to a video and game arcade. We haven’t played skeeball, Dance Dance Revolution, and random “shoot the bad guys” games in years. It was ridiculously fun.
Then, I spent 45 minutes on the...
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TSK: Passive-Aggressiveness can go both ways
Dear Mr. Obviously Annoyed Guy,
I am sorry you had to wait an hour to see me today in Urgent Care. I’m sure your symptoms of “cough, sinus headache, and sore throat” contributed to your irritated attitude — although, since you had an appointment to see your primary physician yesterday, and you “no-showed” it, I don’t know if you really have a...
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Fast Lane Reply: "Non-Compliant Grandpa with COPD"
First, I would like to give you a little background:
My grandfather was diagnosed with Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease about 5 years ago. He is a very bad patient. His doctor told him that he can never recover from the disease. (My grandfather also suffers from selective hearing and thus did not hear the part about slowing the progress by taking medications.) He refuses to take...
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TSK: Tasting the Technicolor Rainbow
Cranquis: Well, since you've been vomiting all food and liquids since this morning, Ralph, I'm going to have my nurse give you some Zofran and then we'll have you try some liquids in a little while.
Ralph (30-something male patient): Oh, I have Zofran at home.
Cranquis: Oh! So you're still vomiting, even after taking Zofran?
Ralph: No, I didn't take any Zofran yet.
Cranquis: Um... why not?
Ralph: I thought it might interfere with something.
Cranquis: Oh yes, it ~would~ have interfered -- with your ~VOMITING!~
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Cranquistador Hive Mind: Help a med-student...
malgosh submitted:
Opinion needed! As a physician, your patient suspects that their immune system may be suppressed; what laboratory/serological testing would you order? Aside from CBC, sed rate, electrophoresis, flow cytometry, measuring levels of Ig in serum. Let’s get creative :) Something quick, easy, and wouldn’t cost an arm and a leg.
So malgosh and I were chatting...
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Medically-Correct Nursery Rhymes: Ring Around the...
“Ring around the Rosie,
Pockets full of Posies,
Ashes, Ashes, we all fall down!”
WELL…
(Could refer to Black Death,
Prob’ly not about that,
I says, I says, let’s all calm down!)
SO INSTEAD…
“Ringworm on your toesies,
Pimples on your nosesies,
Rashes, Rashes, they’re all around!”
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Anatomy Quiz: Is it a real eponym, or not? →
I scored 23 out of 30. How did YOU do?
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“In the sick room, ten cents’ worth of human understanding equals ten dollars’...”
– Martn H. Fischer, physician and author (via klbyrd)
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TIME article: "Googling symptoms helps patients... →
But to debate whether patients should or should not Google their symptoms (which a surprising number of doctors seem to enjoy engaging in) is an absurd exercise. Patients already are doing it, it is now a fact of normal patient behavior, and it will only increase as Internet technology becomes ever more ubiquitous. The average Joe has more health information at his fingertips — both credible and...