What is the mysterious impulse which causes someone to wake up one day and say:
You know that painless bilateral leg swelling I’ve had for the past 5 years? The swelling that I keep forgetting to mention to my primary care provider at every visit I’ve ever had? Well today is the day to get that crap figured OUT. And no I will NOT make an appointment to see my PCP — by jove, I’m going to the URGENT CARE. And hell yes, I’m gonna demand a full work-up be done today! And heck no, I am not going to go to the follow-up appointment with my PCP next week!
What’s BAD: The 10-year-old kid with the intense athlete’s-foot fungal infection on both feet, due to rarely (never?) changing his filthy socks or washing his feet.
What’s WORSE: The rest of his family obviously doesn’t value personal hygeine much either (I had to breathe through my mouth for the entire visit).
What’s WORST: As I’m trying to politely educate the parents on the need for basic habits like bathing and doing laundry, I notice the kid picking off flakes of dying skin from between his toes… AND POPPING THOSE YUMMY BITS INTO HIS MOUTH.
Speaker (with thick East Indian accent): “…prompt removal of the stenotic portion significantly improved the patient’s symptoms.”
Cranquis (mimicking the accent under his breath): “Remowal. Remowal. Gotta remember to replace the V’s with W’s”
Mrs. Cranquis: “You know, these presentations are supposed to improve your skill as a doctor, not improve your ability to talk like Apu from Kwik-E-Mart.”
The first portion of my paternity leave for the birth of Baby Cranquis 2.0 will end this weekend. I go back to work in 7 days. BOOOO.
(However, this will mean new TSK’s, which have been in short supply lately. So, yay?)